how is it that someone who is dying can face death with such certainty than others around him? to say directly to a fren in conversation that he is dying... it just seems so final... so certain... the eventual result would be death... yes. but to say it with such a final accknowledgement... to say it with strength and conviction behind that statement. how does one do it? while others around him may find it a difficult pill to swallow.. or maybe it's just me.. and my idealism that things will get better. the older pple seem to also be certain of the eventual outcome, but how come i cannot be like them. i know the eventual outcome, yet still i persist in thinking that there is still time for him.. still time for all of us. i persist in thinking that he will get better.. that the medicine would help.. i persist in thinking that i won't lose him to cancer soon... i persist in thinking that he will be okay. but he won't be. i know it. we all know it. and yet i persist. it's like he's resigned to it.. but yet there is still the hope that he wld live longer.. a paradox. i dunno... i'm not even sure i'm making sense.. and i'm not even certain i should be posting this up... u know there are just some pple in life that u can't say no to, for fear that there won't be a chance for u to say yes. he is one of them... i can never say no... esp not now...